What do you think?
This is a small part of a larger picture that artist Michael Breyette has done. It’s one of my favorites by him. Click here to check out his other work. It’s inspired more than one little scene in my mind..some of which I’ve written down.
I’m thinking of putting them all together and writing a story from them, but I’d like to know what you think about it. It’ll be in the vein of Angel’s Evolution, where it’s in 1st person pov and present tense. Of course, it’ll be a contemporary.
Here’s a little bit of what I wrote yesterday.
Excerpt:
I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face against his chest. I try not to cry because I don’t want his fellow soldiers to ask about the tear stains on his uniform. I breathe deep, savoring his freshly showered smell, plus the faint scent of gunpowder that lingers in his clothes, no matter how often they’re laundered.
I’m thinking of putting them all together and writing a story from them, but I’d like to know what you think about it. It’ll be in the vein of Angel’s Evolution, where it’s in 1st person pov and present tense. Of course, it’ll be a contemporary.
Here’s a little bit of what I wrote yesterday.
Excerpt:
I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face against his chest. I try not to cry because I don’t want his fellow soldiers to ask about the tear stains on his uniform. I breathe deep, savoring his freshly showered smell, plus the faint scent of gunpowder that lingers in his clothes, no matter how often they’re laundered.
His arms embrace me, crushing me tight to him. His lips brush my ear and he whispers, “I’m so tired of all of this.”
Part of his weariness is because of me. I accept my guilt. My need for him and his love for me weighs him down.
Easing away, I meet his gaze and cradle his face in my hands. He stares at me with such exhaustion and pain in his eyes that I want to burst into tears.
“I’m sorry, love.”
He shrugs, not moving from me. “Is it all worth it?”
Fear races through my heart and I gasp. “Is what worth it?”
Hoping, praying he doesn’t say ‘us’.
He gestures to the uniform, to the duffle bag by the front door and to the picture of him graduating from boot camp without me there to see.
“Serving my country. Keeping you a secret.”
I grasp his hands and lead him to his favorite chair. The one I will sleep in most nights while he’s gone. He sits and I kneel, pressing a kiss to his scarred knuckles.
“Never say this isn’t worth it. This is all you’ve ever wanted to be and I would never have you be anything other than this. Your strength and belief has gotten you this far, don’t let them wear you down.”
“It’s not fair to you to hide who you are.” He pulls a hand free and runs his fingers through my hair.
I shake my head and laugh. “I don’t hide who I am. The only thing we hide is what we mean to each other. I will freely admit that it’s hard sometimes not to throw my arms around you after you’ve been gone for months. It’s hard not to come and meet you at the base, but I’ve learned how to deal with that. Don’t I make your homecomings special?”
Blushing, he nods and I can see he’s thinking of the last time he came home from a deployment and how I greeted him in the privacy of our home.
“None of them matter, love. None of it matters as long as you love me and know I love you. I can deal with anything as long as I know you will keep my heart safe in your hands.”
Dropping to his knees with me, he pulls me close and demands entrance to my mouth. I open to him like a flower to the morning sun. Denying him isn’t in my vocabulary or within my ability. He sweeps his tongue in and strokes mine, drawing a groan from me. I flex my fingers against the back of his head, his hair cut too short for me to hold on to. His large hands slide down to grip my ass and rock me into him.
A horn honks outside and we break apart. It’s time to say good-bye for another six months. My heart cracks a little more, but I smile, not wanting him to know how much it hurts to watch him leave.
“I’ll write,” I promise like always.
“I know.”
We stand and I follow him to the door where he grabs his bag. I give him another quick kiss before stepping back, so his friends couldn’t see me. They know me as his roommate, nothing more, and I know it kills him to not tell them the truth. Too much is at risk for him to share our reality with others.
He shuts the door behind him and I move to the window, peeking from behind the curtains to watch him toss his bag in the trunk and slide into the back seat of the car. He doesn’t look back and I understand, though it hurts.
Once the car is out of sight, I turn to stare into the living room, seeing only the picture of him in his uniform. I pick it up from where it sits on our mantel. I run my fingers over the cool glass covering his face.
Is all this pain worth it? The nights of loneliness when he’s not around and I have no one to talk to about my fears and wishes. I’m being over-dramatic. I have friends who know about us and who listen whenever I need to talk, but if I call too much, it sounds like whining and I don’t want anyone to believe I hate my life.
The circumstances surrounding my life suck, but it is a choice I made when I fell in love with him. The truth of it all is that every moment of doubt and pain is worth it for each minute I spend in his presence. It’s worth it for the knowledge that he loves me more than anything else in his life.
He doesn’t have to tell the world about me. He simply has to show me he loves me and I will stay with him forever.
30 Responses “What do you think?”
TA
Thank you!
You are an incredible writer. Thank you so much for sharing your gift.
The only thing I could add is that as someone who voted for the Bast story I would definatly be willing to wait if it ment getting this story sooner.
WOW! I fell in love with this story! Please give me more. I am trying so hard to write as I cry. Absolutely beautiful, please continue:)
That was absolutely fucking beautiful!!! It's sad to think about how many relationships you just captured so perfectly.
Heartachingly beautiful… I was moved to tears and am now eagerly awaiting this story in full.
Amazing. Very powerful!
TA,
This story is starting out beautifully and as a reader I can' wait to see more. I also think this story should be told. We are currently fighting two wars overseas and trying to protect ourselves at home from an ever increasingly dangerous world. We should be pulling together as a nation. We should be seeing that more things unite us than divide us. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be happening. Americans seem more polarized nd angry with each other than ever. We need capable people in the armed services and each year hundreds are being kicked out for not hiding something about themselves that no one is supposed to even ask them about. That still confuses me, if no one asks, how does anyone know? More and more people who helped create DADT are admitting that it came from a place of ignorance and fear. That anyone with the bravery and skill to enlist as well as complete the rigorous training involved should be treated with respect and not discriminated against nor made to hide who they are and what their family is. I don't know if a story showing how DADT effects a gay american soldier and those that care about him will change anyones mind. I would like to think that all ignorance can be cure with patience, education and understanding. But even if it changes no ones mind, it might let real life soldiers and their loved ones know that others recognize the extra sacrifices that they face. That we appreciate them and hope for a day that they can be openly serve their country and have their country openly appreciate and respect them in return.
TA – please continue this one! It's so beautiful.
Lordy..Lordy..TA
What a beautiful emotional story that you have given us peek at.
Please tell us you will finish..:-)
T.A. you continue to write with so much emotion. Tears are now in my eyes.
Yes please!
Holy cow, TA!! Talk about emotional! Definitely brought a tear to my eyes. I would love to read a whole story.
Great job!
This will be an awesome story to read! Are you done yet? HAHA It made me tear up, I hope the boys talk to you fast.
this is amazing, heartbreaking and emotionally powerful. Oh and did I mention I really liked it?
Please write more.
WOW! That packs a punch TA! It leaves me feeling…
so many things, but mostly sad that so much of the world is so narrow minded in it's views.
Sandie
Wow – that was beautiful. Would love to read this story and anymore that was inspired by that picture.
That was beautifully heartbreaking. And so current with all the DADT stories around us.
powerful and moving and so unfair! Of course we want to read more
What we think about it!??? This is amazing. Get writing immediately so we can see this late this year :). Of course, we don't want you to slack off on the other stories we're waiting on…
Damn it TA.
Just… awesome. You could use this to touch many people.
Thank you for writing it. And yes, it deserves to be longer, and read by more people.
Yeah, I want that one next…absolutely wonderful and moving.
TA
This excerpt is certainly intriguing, and I for one would love to read more. But then again, I could be biased because I do love all of your work.
K
TA; an intense and powerful start, I really liked this. I always like alot of tension and emotional involvement, this was excellent. Love the message that the artwork ispired.
Caprice
TA, I love the art work and this story made me tear up. This would be a wonderful story to read, although I'm sure I will cry alot.
OMG, this is so powerful and moving. Please move this to the top of your list.
Yvonne
I forgot to say…I love the art work. I think you've shown that site before. There are a LOT of pictures that make me think…'hmmm…that could be a story.' 😀
Beautiful. That gave me some tears. I would love to read more. Karen
Wow. Very powerful and fits the picture perfectly.
I see a LOT of ways you are going to make me cry with this one! 🙂