The Ball- Part Seven

The Ball- Part Seven (c) T.A. Chase

Greyson disappears into the crowd. My heart breaks. A god was within my grasp and like a fool, I let him go.

Froze to the spot, I ignore people moving around me except to cringe when they get too close. I’m caught in a whirlpool of anger. It swirls and flares. First at him for not understanding my silence. Next at myself for having no sense of worth.

For it is doubt that keeps me from tracking him down. How can a man so full of life and confidence want a shell like me? All that I might ever have been has been ripped from me. He calls me Angel. I call myself monster.

A hand clamps down on my bruised shoulder and I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I know who it is from the cruelty in his touch. Before Father can say anything, my pretty cousin is beside us.

“This is our dance.” She beams up at my father.

He can’t deny her, so he allows her to drag me away. We melt into the dancing couples until we’ve moved beyond his sight. She tugs me into an alcove.

“What is the matter with you?” She glares up at me. “Poppa sent me to save you. He could see your father growing furious with you. How could you snub his Grace like that?”

It always comes down to me being the bad one. I’m the incompetent fool who is single-handedly destroying the family name. She’s so young and innocent. I don’t want to taint her with my foulness. I shrug and move away. Maybe I could sneak home and drown my sorrow in brandy.

“Lord Greyson is the most handsome man in the room.” Her brown eyes, so much like mine, twinkle with a sly light. “Quite rich and friends with all sorts of important people. His wife would hold a high place in society. I’d take a shot at him. Too bad his interest is all ready captured.”

“Captured? By whom?” I blurt out and then I groan. The minx has tricked me. I search out a way to leave her.

She backs me into the shadows. “I’ve heard rumors about the Duke.”

“Rumors?” I find I don’t want to hear what she has to say.

“Seems the handsome Duke has no use for the fairer sex. He likes his lovers to be harder and more like him.”

My breath comes in bursts and spots swim before my eyes. I didn’t give our secret away, my mind screams. Oh God, they all know. Somehow the depravity brewing inside me has been seen and it’s destroying the Duke’s reputation.

My cousin gives me a wink. “Who would’ve thought my competition would be my own cousin?” She touches my wrist where my self-inflicted scar is.

Bile rises from my stomach. Her eyes widen and she points to a potted plant we are hiding behind. Throwing myself to my knees, I heave. There is nothing for me to purge for I haven’t eaten in a day or two. Yet it feels as if I’m emptying everything from my body.

Heart, soul, brain and nerves go. Blackness starts to descend and I wonder if I’ve given up. There’s no point in living when my god has turned his back on me.

12 Responses “The Ball- Part Seven”

  1. T.A.Chase says:

    You’re right, Kate..cruel words wound the deepest. So Greyson has his work cut out for him to get Angel to truly believe he’s worthy of the duke’s love.

    You’re welcome. I’m glad that you enjoy my words so much. Sometimes words are meant to be read for them to have the greatest impact on writer and reader alike.

  2. Kate Lang says:

    Oh Angel…my heart breaks for him. I don’t doubt that he believes he’s a monster. Words spoken to us, repetitively, seem to wrap around us and stick like barbed wire. Those sharp digs are always easier to believe for some reason. So they latch on and scar us over and over and over.

    Beautiful and haunting, T.A.

    You’re such a gifted, talented, writer, my friend. Thank you for letting us read your words.

  3. T.A.Chase says:

    Paige..if I told all the story at the beginning, there’d be no reason for everyone to keep coming back. 🙂

  4. Paige Burns says:

    Little does he know there’s someone there to catch him.

    You’re such a tease!

  5. T.A.Chase says:

    It does hurt, but imagine how much joy he’ll get to experience once he’s willing to follow where Greyson wants to lead him.

  6. Jenna Howard says:

    I know. Sigh. I know. Poor Angel. He hurts my insides.

  7. T.A.Chase says:

    Thanks, Sherrill. There’ll definitely be more. I just finished writing Part 12 and we haven’t even gotten to the good parts yet. 😉

    Greyson is slowly going to seduce Angel into admitting everything the young man wants. Along with help from an old friend, I think.

  8. Sherrill Quinn says:

    T.A., this is… wow. It just keeps getting better and better. Poor, poor Angel. When the moment comes where he has the courage to reach out, it’s going to be perfectly exquisite.

    More, please. 🙂

  9. T.A.Chase says:

    He is hard on himself, Jenna, but he’s been told since an early age that he’s a monster and a freak.

    You’re also right in saying the only one holding him back is himself. Being abused, he doesn’t understand an out-stretched hand as anything other than a threat.

    If you’re giving enough pain and abuse, it becomes commonplace. Love would seem like such dangerous unknown factor. Maybe too frightening to accept.

  10. Jenna Howard says:

    Oh my. Wow. Poor Angel. He’s so hard on himself. He makes me want to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything will work out. Brilliant, honey. Just…brilliant.

    That picture is perfect because the only one holding Angel back is…Angel and that sexy angel in the picture is the one gripping the rings, binding himself to his “prison”.

    Lovely. And his yummy to look at too! Grrowf.

  11. T.A.Chase says:

    I loved that pic, S.W. and thought it would be perfect for this part. Just the way he’s looking up as if asking God why?

    He has this sense that everything is falling apart around him. Little does he know there’s someone there to catch him. 😉

    Have to keep y’all happy.

  12. S. W. Vaughn says:

    TA, you love us, you really love us. 🙂 Thank you for this! My heart is pounding; poor, poor Angel.

    And that pic. My God. Gorgeous!

    Keep the good stuff coming. 🙂

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