Reflection
Reflection (c) 2006 T.A. Chase
I look into the water and stare at the reflection of the man. He’s tall, blonde and blue-eyed. The very picture of all that is beautiful and acceptable in the world. He’s a man women love to flirt with and men envy.
Yet looking deep into those eyes, I see a wall. It’s been built to keep people from seeing his darkest secrets and his deepest longings. No one knows he’s unhappy. No one understands that the life he lives isn’t what he dreams of at night.
He escorts gorgeous women to parties and galas. He’s romantically linked to any woman he spends more than a minute with. A grimace mars that perfect forehead. He doesn’t want to press his lips to a smooth cheek. Soft skin leaves him cold. Gentle hands make him worry. A curvy perfumed body rubbing against him turns him off.
A five o’clock shadowed chin scraping across his cheek. Rough skin warming his own. Strong hands grasping him and holding him tight. A muscular solid body making him moan. That’s what he longs for, but he doesn’t know how to break down the walls and ask for it.
I touch a finger to the water and watch the ripples distort the image of the man. I stand and he does the same. Sadness fills my heart as I walk away, a living reflection of the man in the pond. Trapped with in my life as he is in the water.
Boy I’m Tired
I understand Blogger had some trouble yesterday which caused problems for us. 🙂 Oh well, it all seems to be working now.
Well the block party yesterday went well. Tons of people came by. I’m tired as hell, but I’ll survive. lol
I have some pictures I’ll be using as inspiration for Raiden Smith, one of the heroes in my Dining With Alexander story (the one I’m going to submit with Paige’s story) I’ll post them over the weekend when I get a blurb written up for it. The guy is totally hot. 🙂 Though this pic isn’t bad either.
Did a little more work on Two For One and Angel’s Seduction. Got started on Part Thirteen for that. We’re moving along.
C is golfing tonight, so I’m hoping to get some writing done before he gets home.
Have a great day, everyone.
“Between two evils, I always pick the one I’ve never tried before.”—Mae West
Wild Wednesday
It’s a wild wednesday here. The non-profit I work for is getting ready to have a big block party tonight, so I have to run errands and basicly fill in wherever they need me. Argh!
I love this pic. (Thanks, Jenna) Talk about seeing the love between two people.
So I’m going to get on my soapbox again. I try not to do it very often because y’all don’t want to hear me rant and rave about political stuff. 😉
But the ban on gay marriage amendment is up for voting in the Senate (or will be soon) and I just can’t see what the big deal is about letting gays/lesbians marry. It certainly isn’t important enough to amend our Constitution. Heck, we’ve really only added to that document 14 times. (If you don’t count the first ten..The Bill of Rights or the fact that one of the amendments was to repeal an earlier one.) Those were important laws..women getting the right to vote…African-Americans getting the right to vote. It seems to me those amendments were about making people equal in the eyes of the law. By making sure to add an amendment that in it’s most basic wording is denying equal rights to a whole section of individuals…aren’t we making a mockery of what the true meaning behind the Constitution is?
The Vatican says that gay marriage is one of the most serious threats to the traditional family at this point in time. Wouldn’t you think that adultery, divorce and domestic violence would be far bigger worries than two men who love each other declaring that in a church? Then Heaven forbid, they chose to adopt an child. The world will begin to crumble all because two people chose to open their hearts to a child no one else wanted. What’s wrong with that?
I don’t always agree with what Senator Edward Kennedy says (I think he’s a bit of a joke, imo) but his words seem to fit with how I feel about this gay marriage ban. “The Republican leadership is asking us to spend time writing bigotry into the Constitution. A vote for it is a vote against civil unions, against domestic partnership, against all other efforts for states to treat gays and lesbians fairly under the law.”
I have nothing against Republicans..just wanted to let everyone know that. It’s his quote, not mine. 🙂
*Jumping off my soapbox and putting it away for another day*
Have a great day, everyone.
Angel’s Seduction- Part Eight
Angel’s Seduction (formerly The Ball) (c) 2006 T.A. Chase
Part Eight-
Sensation returns in waves. Voices are whispering. I’m floating, held together by two strong arms. Harsh hands. Father. I cringe.
‘No,’ I shout from my silence. ‘Don’t let him touch me.’
One voice separates from the noise. It rumbles under my ear. I try to get closer for something in my memory tells me this voice will not hurt.
Words become more distinct. I hear Father argue with Uncle. I wonder why their voices hold such urgency.
Cold washes over my face and I force my eyes open. Concern fills the brilliant blue eyes looking down at me.
My cousin’s brown eyes invade my view. “Poppa, he’s awake.”
I’m outside. I realize I’m in Greyson’s arms, leaning against him. Horror fills me and I try to push away from him, but he won’t let me.
Father and Uncle stand staring at me. Father’s eyes are filled with scorn and disgust. Uncle’s are worried.
“All you ever do is embarrass me. Why am I cursed with a son like you?” Father reaches for my arm.
I shrink from his fearsome touch. Turning, I bury my face in Greyson’s chest. No more. It no longer matters to me what people think. There’s no will left in me to fight. My father has achieved his goal. He has crushed me. Who knew the destruction would come not with fists but with words? Who knew the final blow would be delivered from the smiling lips of my cousin?
Greyson hands me to my uncle. A spike of surprise finds its birth in me when Uncle waves to his carriage driver. I glance up at him.
“You’ll come home with me.”
There is no argument from me. I never want to see Father’s house again. So much pain and agony reside there. I turn my gaze back to Greyson and Father.
“I suggest you go back inside, Williamson. We mustn’t create a bigger scene than this has already become.” Greyson’s voice is harsh and commanding.
I’ve never heard anyone talk to Father like that.
“I’ve heard about you. There’s no way I’ll allow you to corrupt my son.” Father speaks in a soft tone, trying to insure no one hears him.
“And everything spoken by the forked tongues of the ton is true.” Sarcasm drips from his Grace’s words.
Father flushes. “It matters not. He’s still my son.”
“He’s reached his majority, Brother. If he no longer wishes to dwell under your roof, you can’t force him.” Uncle reminds Father.
I tune out the words. My eyes focus on Greyson’s face. Is it just my hopeful wish that there seems to be caring in his eyes when he looks at me? Is it possible my silence didn’t destroy his regard for me? I shiver.
“My carriage is here. I’ll be taking my nephew to my house.” Uncle glances at my cousin. “You started this mess. Go and tell them your cousin is sick. Lady Acksinbury will escort you home.”
My cousin whispers “I’m sorry” in my ear. She forces Father to take her back inside.
Greyson helps Uncle get me in the carriage. My legs don’t seem to want to work. Curling up on the seat, I hide in the corner.
The Duke’s blue eyes reassure me as he speaks to my uncle. “I’ll follow you home.”
Uncle makes no objection. I find myself wondering why Father despises my uncle. His disdain must have roots back beyond my birth.
The door clicks shut. Instead of feeling like I am trapped again, freedom seems just a carriage ride away.
Manic Monday
I think he needs a towel. Anyone willing to help dry him off? 😉
Got some more writing done. Mostly on The Ball or Angel’s Seduction as its new title will be. Let me know what you think of that. I thought it fit well with the entire story since Greyson must seduce Angel into understanding that he isn’t a monster and deserves every bit of love the Duke can give him.
Haven’t got much done on Dining With Alexander which is the novella I’m working on to be published with Paige’s story. I worked on another story as well about a threesome called Two for One or Two for One Love. Haven’t decided how long I want the title to be…lol. It’s pretty hot and lots of sex so far. Just getting to the point where all three of them are having it together..lol 😉
Hope you have a great Monday.
“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.”—Erica Jong
Sunday again..
No eye candy today…though I consider Anderson Cooper one of the sexiest guys in the world. 😉
I got some writing done. Not a ton, but I didn’t think I’d get anything worked on yesterday.
Mostly though I read Mr. Cooper’s book, Dispatches From the Edge. He goes back and looks at 2005, starting with the tsunami and ending with Katrina. With stops in Irag and Niger along the way.
It’s a fascinating book because he intersperes the present with his thoughts and memories of his past. You get to see that no matter how hard he tries to be objective and dispassionate about the news he’s reporting, he’s unable to keep it from effecting him.
I remember his outburst while interviewing a state government official last year after Katrina. I was impressed. For a moment, maybe we were given a glimpse inside him. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell whether you’re seeing the real person on tv or if it’s just an image they’re projecting, but either way, the book is intriguing and sad.
Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.
“Truth is the secret of eloquence and of virtue, the basis of moral authority; it is the highest summit of art and life.”–Henri-Frederic Amiel
Sunny Saturday
Hope this pic meets with more approval today…even if it’s just for those abs. Wow! 😉I actually cropped this photo to keep it from being rated X..lol.
I’m hoping to get some writing done today, but C has to go shoot some pictures for a friend, so I might be busy most of the day. Oh well. I don’t mind spending time with him however I have to. We also might go look at cars. Trying to find a Saturn dealer around here that has a Skye (the Saturn version of the Pontiac Solistce). Trying to find either one of those cars is like hunting for a needle in a haystack. Ugh!
I hope everyone has a great day.
“The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it.”—Ayn Rand
TGIF
The morning is really busy for me today, so I thought I’d give you a little water eye candy. Enjoy him..try not to wear him out. 🙂 If things calm down, I’ll try and get back to post something more meaningful later in the day.
Have a great day, everyone.
Thursday all ready…
my..my..how time flies when you’re having fun. Isn’t there something mysterious and dangerous about this guy? HOT! 🙂
I discovered what secret Angel’s uncle is hiding and why he wants to help our hero out. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make him look like such a great guy anymore. Except for the fact that he is trying to keep the past from repeating itself. And an interesting new character introduced himself to me. I think y’all will like him when you get to meet him. Oh and while I was getting ready this morning, I figured out how The Ball will end. Now I just have to write it down. 🙂
Have a great day, everyone.
“There is a boundary to men’s passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination.”–Edmund Burke
The Ball- Part Seven
The Ball- Part Seven (c) T.A. Chase
Greyson disappears into the crowd. My heart breaks. A god was within my grasp and like a fool, I let him go.
Froze to the spot, I ignore people moving around me except to cringe when they get too close. I’m caught in a whirlpool of anger. It swirls and flares. First at him for not understanding my silence. Next at myself for having no sense of worth.
For it is doubt that keeps me from tracking him down. How can a man so full of life and confidence want a shell like me? All that I might ever have been has been ripped from me. He calls me Angel. I call myself monster.
A hand clamps down on my bruised shoulder and I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I know who it is from the cruelty in his touch. Before Father can say anything, my pretty cousin is beside us.
“This is our dance.” She beams up at my father.
He can’t deny her, so he allows her to drag me away. We melt into the dancing couples until we’ve moved beyond his sight. She tugs me into an alcove.
“What is the matter with you?” She glares up at me. “Poppa sent me to save you. He could see your father growing furious with you. How could you snub his Grace like that?”
It always comes down to me being the bad one. I’m the incompetent fool who is single-handedly destroying the family name. She’s so young and innocent. I don’t want to taint her with my foulness. I shrug and move away. Maybe I could sneak home and drown my sorrow in brandy.
“Lord Greyson is the most handsome man in the room.” Her brown eyes, so much like mine, twinkle with a sly light. “Quite rich and friends with all sorts of important people. His wife would hold a high place in society. I’d take a shot at him. Too bad his interest is all ready captured.”
“Captured? By whom?” I blurt out and then I groan. The minx has tricked me. I search out a way to leave her.
She backs me into the shadows. “I’ve heard rumors about the Duke.”
“Rumors?” I find I don’t want to hear what she has to say.
“Seems the handsome Duke has no use for the fairer sex. He likes his lovers to be harder and more like him.”
My breath comes in bursts and spots swim before my eyes. I didn’t give our secret away, my mind screams. Oh God, they all know. Somehow the depravity brewing inside me has been seen and it’s destroying the Duke’s reputation.
My cousin gives me a wink. “Who would’ve thought my competition would be my own cousin?” She touches my wrist where my self-inflicted scar is.
Bile rises from my stomach. Her eyes widen and she points to a potted plant we are hiding behind. Throwing myself to my knees, I heave. There is nothing for me to purge for I haven’t eaten in a day or two. Yet it feels as if I’m emptying everything from my body.
Heart, soul, brain and nerves go. Blackness starts to descend and I wonder if I’ve given up. There’s no point in living when my god has turned his back on me.
