T. A. Chase

Angel’s Seduction- Part Twenty-Eight

Angel’s Seduction copyright (c)2006 T.A. Chase

Part Twenty-Eight:

I feel the mattress dip as Greyson slides under the covers and joins me in our bed. He wraps an arm around my waist to pull me tight against him, my back to his chest. His lips brush over the bruise on my cheek. I sigh and the dull throbbing of my face fades.

“Does your face still hurt, love?” His breath bathes my ear.

“A little. I’m better now that you’re here.” I press closer to his warmth.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to come upstairs with you as soon as we got home, but it was important I deal with the person waiting for me.” He moves my hair out of the way and whispers a kiss over the nape of my neck.

I hear the guilt in his voice and that isn’t what I want. I said those words because they were true, not because I wanted to manipulate him. “I know.” I roll over so we are face-to-face. “Is something wrong?”

A frown mars his forehead, but he shakes his head. “Nothing for you to worry about, love.”

Why do I have the feeling that he’s patting me on the head like he would an overly curious child? I bite my lip to keep from complaining. “I know you’re involved with the government, Greyson. I’ve heard numerous times that you have the ear of the Regent and of the Prime Minister. I get the feeling you do more than just give advice when they ask.” I put my finger over his mouth when he starts to speak. “You’ve brought me into your home. You’ve given me more freedom and love then I’ve ever known. You also tell me your heart belongs to me, but I know nothing about you. Why are there strangers coming and going at all hours of the day and night? Why when the Home Office requests your presence, do you drop everything and go? Who was that stranger the other night and what did that message mean I delivered for him?”

As the duke stares at me, I can tell he’s thinking, trying to decide how much to tell me or if he will tell me anything. I pull away from him and climb out of bed. A chill shivers down my spine. I wonder what has come over me to make me confront Greyson like this, but I won’t back down.

I stop in front of the fireplace. Turning, I look back through the darkness to where I know he still lies on the bed. “I’m not fragile. You told me that yourself. You say you love me, but as what? Do you love me as a man? Am I someone you can tell all your secrets to or am I merely a plaything for you to pull out when you get bored?”

Tears well up in my eyes. I try to swallow around the lump in my throat. I know how I want him to answer. I want. No, I need him to see me as his equal because if he doesn’t then in reality I am no better off than I was when I lived with my father.

I hear the bedclothes rustle and then I see him kneeling in the middle of the mattress, holding his hand out to me.

“Angel, my love, come back to bed. Please join me and I’ll tell you what I can.”

I want to be strong and demand he tell me everything right now. But the room is cold and I can hear love in his voice. I don’t want to hurt him. It is just something is inside me, demanding to be seen as a real person; not a child or a helpless creature.

“Please.”

Returning to the bed, I take his hand and let him pull me back under the covers. Greyson settles me into his arms. I rest my head on his chest and smile as his hand strokes over my back.

He takes a deep breath. “Before I got married, I was a hellion. I’d rather cause trouble then be respectable. I indulged myself with gambling, dueling and women.”

I stiffen and he chuckles.

“I might have been a hellion, love, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew I had to keep my true preferences discrete and hidden from the Ton. Even now there are very few of my friends who know where my interests truly lie.” His hand stops its caress and I can tell he’s remembering the past. “I was bored. There was something missing from the life I was leading, but I never understood what. Then my father told me I had to marry. So like any dutiful son, I did. Maria was beautiful and from a good family. If she was intelligent, kind or loving, I have no idea. I ignored her after our wedding day except for when I bedded her.”

Tension slowly tightens his muscles. I know thinking of his wife hurts him. I rub my hand over his stomach, trying to ease the pain with my touch. He relaxes a little.

“I got her with child quickly. As soon as I could after my first son was born, I planted my seed in her womb again. For once luck smiled on me and she gave me another son. Now I had the heir I needed to carry on the family line and another son in case something happened to the first. I was relieved because that meant I didn’t have to have anything to do with Maria anymore. I could allow her to do as she pleased as long as it didn’t interfere with my life.”

This time it is Greyson who climbs out of bed and paces around the room. I pile pillows behind me and lean against them while I watch him move.

“I listen to myself and think what a horrid selfish man I was back then. I didn’t care how it made Maria feel. I didn’t care if I was breaking her heart or not. As long as it didn’t disrupt my life, I was indifferent to her. I abandoned her in the country and made my way back to town as soon as I could.” He scrubs a hand over his face. “I know now that I broke her heart. She loved me, even though I had been indifferent to her from our first meeting. I never did anything intentionally cruel. In my eyes, leaving her in the country wasn’t cruel. I was a selfish arrogant bastard.”

I’m not sure what to say. I don’t know how to fix it. I know how being ignored by someone who should love you created the deepest wounds. A sob ripples the silence. I watch in horror as Greyson collapses to his knees and cries. Scrambling out of bed, I race to him. I drop to the floor next to him and for the first time in our relationship, I offer my shoulder for him to cry on. For this moment in time, I am the strong one who will help heal a small part of his wounded soul.

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